Pieces of Me

I have a lot on my mind at the moment.
So much that I actually can't think straight until I get things in the right order.
It's stupid what's on my mind but it's still there, even though it is stupid.

I feel very forgotten about these days...
And I know it's sounds stupid but I started relying a lot on some people.
They helped me through a lot of the problems I've been having, just by saying hi to me on a daily basis.
Then, one day, everything just changed...
Suddenly I didn't matter anymore...
I became boring or something...
The one person I thought cared obviously didn't...
Though I can't blame this on her... I was putting a lot of pressure on her even if she didn't notice.
I needed her more than I thought I did.
And she didn't need me at all...

My heart broke into a thousand pieces...

I understand that what we shared wasn't real, not even a little, but it's the closest thing I've had to someone really caring about me because they wanted to.
I might just be being over sensitive, the whole ordeal not being real and all, but it was real enough for it to make a difference to me... To mean something to me...

And too many things are happening all at once, its a little difficult to take it all in at once...

I realized for the first time today that I actually have a real life friend again...
Its been a long time since I've had more than just someone I spoke about and "called" my friend...
And to be completely honest... I don't know how to react to this.
I get all excited and everything when I get a message and then think "I actually get to see this person in a few minutes..." I never thought I'd go through this experience again in my life...
I was content with this idea...
I was okay with what I have...

So here I sit... No answers in sight...